Testing Violation: Choked to Death

So today during the short break between sessions I got a cough drop. The room was hot and dry, and I didn't want to keep distracting the students with my coughing (because at that point I felt like breathing too loudly would have been anathema). However I forgot to take into account my general stupidity and halfway through finishing my coughdrop forgot about it and swllowed it.

Now I am writing this so it means I lived, but during that half a second where I was unsure if my epiglottis was going to close in time to save my life the only thing that ran through my mind was, "if I die this is totally going to be a testing violation." I guess my mind figured there'd be plenty of time for the flashbacks and the lights and all that other "dying" nonsense after we addressed our immediate concerns.

Even as the coughdrop slid down my trachea, though, and I could feel the burning hot wintery freshness enveloping every sinus cavity from the back of my throat to my ears, I could not help but imagine the stir this would have cause at every school around the country during MSA orientation meetings.

Administrator: "And remember, no staff member is allowed to have any mints or cough drops or anything of the like during testing."

Teacher A: "Why?"

Administrator: "Actually this has been a problem in the past at some schools and it's easier just to bring a water bottle instead of worrying about cough drops. If the students see it or if-"

Teacher B: "I heard somebody died during a test from choking on a cough drop."

Teacher A: "No way."

Administrator: "I'm going to ask that we just follow the rules..."

Teacher B: "Okay, but I'm pretty sure that's what it is."

Teacher A (grumbling): "That's stupid."

Well teacher A, you are right. It was stupid, but to any administrators out there reading this thinking, "maybe we should ban cough drops from the testing room" know this: had I cut off my air supply and was struggling to take the last few breaths of air I would ever breathe, I would have immediately thrown the "Assistance Needed" sign under the door, asked for an administrator, waited for one to arrive, and then died in the hallway where I would not disturb any testing. Had I been provided a sword I would have gladly fallen upon it to save the need for emergency crews to rush into the school with their noise and flashing vehicles in the hopes of saving my life.

Semper Excelsior, Viventes Damnantes